Principal encourages teachers to help students cheat

Story: High Test Scores, and Criticism, Follow a South Bronx Principal

They probably could have gotten away with this, until everyone got cocky and decided to make their motto "The Best School in the Universe." It also doesn't help that teachers get $3000 bonuses when their students get above-average test scores.

School Board Bans Flip-Flops, Crocs

Story: School Board Bans Flip-Flops, Crocs

This is certainly one of the more pressing issues in education, at least in Mississippi. If you take a look at the minutes from the latest school board meeting, the topic of foot attire dominated the floor. Why should we expect our teachers to be comfortable? Hopefully in the future, they can get around to discussing curriculum adjustments, budget allotment, and graduation rates.

Teacher arrested for molesting 4-year-old

Story: Teacher arrested for molesting 4-year-old

Sorry sweetheart. Unfortunately you won't be getting the same kind of moral support as the "Freedom Writers" lady. We are just gonna have to file this one under another Florida teacher who has absolutely no concept of how to behave sexually around children.

Teacher banned for using 'Freedom Writers' book

Story: Teacher banned for using 'Freedom Writers' book

Here are the facts: 149 out of 150 parents signed a permission slip to have the book taught. The administration, however, feels that inspiring inner-city kids to achieve goals is not high on the priority list. They would rather prove a point by letting teachers know who is really in charge. Oh, and here's a little irony for you- the book is in the schools library!

Teacher, 60, arrested for sex with teens

Story: Teacher, 60, arrested for sex with teens

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Gross! That's all I have to say about that.

School Worker Charged with Child Corruption

Story: School Worker Charged with Child Corruption

I guess everybody has their own thing. This guys thing just happens to be taking inappropriate pictures with behaviorally challenged 7-year old girls. Oh, he's been doing it for close to three years. And we wonder why people are scared of technology and the internet.

Student Suspended For Giving Teacher A Noogie

Story: Student Suspended For Giving Teacher A Noogie

He was originally given a two-year suspension, but after an investigation he was cleared from accusations of giving other teachers Indian burns and wet-willies.

Ohio Teacher Burns Cross on Students Arm

Story: Teacher Accused of Branding Kid With Cross

I am pretty sure this is how Jesus would have wanted it. In fact, isn't there a line in the Bible that says "Take your young disciplines and teach them my word by burning their skin with scolding hot irons." Apparently the line is blurry between teaching students Christian values and permanently branding them with images of the cross. Who would have thought?

Students' laxative-spiked cake sends teachers to hospital

Story: Students' laxative-spiked cake sends Brooklyn teachers to hospital

Didn't these teachers learn when Odysseus tried this same stunt like 3000 years ago? Or has mythology been cut from the curriculum as well.

Ex-teacher's trial in school threats case to begin

Story: Ex-teacher's trial in school threats case to begin

You may remember DetentionSlip breaking this story back in February. She basically went nuts after she was asked to teach a different grade level. Well she's finally on trial after posting threatening notes and creating bomb scares around school. We can only hope that the judge doesn't have to change any dates of the trial, only to set her off again. But at least they'll already have their suspect when the words "DIE JUDGE" appear in the womens bathroom.

Teacher Accused of Sexually Assaulting Elementary Student

Story: Teacher Accused of Sexually Assaulting Elementary Student at School

You can pretty much scratch the "Teacher of the Year" award off the list of things this guy will accomplish. And while you're on the list, you may as well add "embarrass my family, ruin future career opportunities, and practice no self-decency."

Teacher arrested for threatening to 'rip eyeballs out' of student

Story: Teacher arrested for threatening to 'rip eyeballs out' of student

So you're telling me you're not allowed to rip kids eyes out, urinate on them, and then kill their family? Isn't this what we pay teachers for? Evidently that's the impression this guy was under. However it should be noted, that the teacher loves the Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

Teacher accused of having sex with several teens

Story: Teacher accused of sexual misconduct with several students

It's been a couple months, but Florida teachers are finally back on the radar. If any of her students were wondering why they don't get their test scores back in a timely matter, it's because this teacher has been busy meeting 14-year old boys on MySpace and inviting them over for sex. I hope they understand.

Teacher accused of duct taping 9-year-old to chair

Story: Teacher accused of taping 9-year-old to chair

You gotta wonder what goes through the minds of the rest of the students as they witness their classmate being wrapped up in tape, and then more or less held hostage for 90 minutes. But I guess this is the next alternative to handling behavior problems when the teacher runs out of discipline referrals.

Teacher arrested for crack cocaine

Story: Elementary School Teacher in Culpeper Arrested

"I was holding it for a friend! I swear." Believe it or not this was actually her defense. Any straight-minded person would hold a crack pipe for their buddy wouldn't they? Especially if they knew the risk could cost them their career? Needless to say, her days of having uncontrollable nervous cold sweats in front of students are over.

Grandfather Accused Of Attacking Teacher At School Ceremony

Story: Grandfather Accused Of Attacking Teacher At School Ceremony

Gramps didn't think the boy got the proper award at a ceremony. Ironically, the award was for "Least Likely to Stick up for Himself."

Teacher lets students vote out classmate

Story: Teacher lets Morningside students vote out classmate

So much for a fair education. About the only thing positive from this story, is the math lesson students learned about fractions. If 14 students vote to kick a pupil out of class, and 2 students vote against it, what are the odds that the teacher will soon be out of a job?

Teacher allows noose display in classroom

Story: Noose Incident Upsets Boulder City H.S. Parents

How are we expecting to raise moral and educated children when we send them to schools with ignorant, perhaps racist teachers. Anyone who has lived in this country at any point in the last 150 years or so should have a general knowledge for what that noose represents. You can't exactly chalk this one up to 'not knowing any better.'

Teacher Suspended After Fight With Student

Story: Teacher Suspended After Fight With Student

I can think of a lot of good reasons to fight with a student: to demonstrate maturity, to be a positive role model, to maintain a level of professionalism, and also to show everyone how tough you are. Are schools becoming ticking time bombs for violence to break out at any minute? Although it not confirmed, some reports say this teacher was also crashing gym class just to show everyone how hard he can throw a dodgeball.

Teacher Arrested With Drugs, Gun on Campus

Story: Elementary School Teacher Arrested With Drugs, Gun on Campus

I want to say that there are signs around most schools that read "Drug Free Zone." I also want to say that there is a thing called 'common sense' that generally dictates to us why we don't need guns and weed at elementary schools.