Principal accused of running gambling ring

Story: Assistant principal accused of running gambling ring

This guy was holding poker tournaments at his house and now he's facing criminal charges. The police lieutenant says, "A dispute or a fight could take place. Someone could wind up getting hurt or murdered inside (the) residence." This sounds exactly like the Texas Hold 'Em matches I've played in. I would say this is worth jeopardizing his career over. It's not like he was caught placing bets on students test scores.

Teacher Accused of Sexually Assaulting Elementary Student

Story: Teacher Accused of Sexually Assaulting Elementary Student at School

You can pretty much scratch the "Teacher of the Year" award off the list of things this guy will accomplish. And while you're on the list, you may as well add "embarrass my family, ruin future career opportunities, and practice no self-decency."

Police say football coach pawned school items

Story: Police say Mesquite football coach pawned school items

Unfortunately, when your salary is already over 90k a year, driving around town with new bling isn't gonna be a red flag for profiting off stolen goods. Maybe someone should have questioned why this high school had the most hi-tech locker room in the nation. This is a tough one...seeing as how this guy just brought home a state championship, who's going to want to fire him?

Bilingual Sign At Elementary School Riles Resident

Story: Bilingual Sign At Elementary School Riles Resident

Tal vez esta persona tiene que aceptar el hecho que "blanco" no es la única raza.

The Cons of Creationism

Story: The Cons of Creationism

Great editorial re: The idiots in Texas who want to teach the "strengths and weaknesses" of evolution. One strength of evolution is that it allows for the most fit characteristics to be passed on to the next generation. One weakness is that we still have to deal with the leftovers until they are totally selected against (i.e. creationists).

Boy sought after bulldozer hits school

Story: Boy sought after bulldozer hits Willis school

Don't bulldozers travel at like 2 mph? You're telling me nobody saw this kid slowly move his way from a construction site, through town, and to a school? It was later learned he was mimicking the "chicken" scene from Footloose. When he realized that the building was not going to budge, he had no choice but to bail. Needless to say, he didn't get the girl.

Man, 94, to Receive High School Diploma

Story: Man, 94, to Receive High School Diploma

Finally...he can get a decent job.

Teen stabbed at high school graduation

Story: Teen stabbed at high school graduation

Talk about bad luck...getting that close to graduating high school, then to get shanked out of nowhere. All of the details are released yet, but aren't there generally thousands of people in the audience at these ceremonies? And this guy is "currently on the run?" Did he put on a pair of fake glasses and mustaches and walk down the isle as someone else?

School bans Marine from wearing uniform at graduation

Story: Texas school bans Marine from wearing uniform at graduation

Oddly enough, the Marines also banned her from wearing her graduation gown while in Iraq.

Students' photos altered in yearbook

Story: Students' photos altered in McKinney yearbook

40% of the students had something changed on their picture. Clothes were switched, head sizes stretched, fake mustaches were drawn in! (maybe). Seeing as how most people have a pretty good idea of what they look like, I still can't figure out how someone would think no one would notice. School officials thought something was fishy when they realized that the majority of the students appeared in the yearbook with shirts reading: "I LOVE Lifetouch National School Studios."

Teacher Arrested With Drugs, Gun on Campus

Story: Elementary School Teacher Arrested With Drugs, Gun on Campus

I want to say that there are signs around most schools that read "Drug Free Zone." I also want to say that there is a thing called 'common sense' that generally dictates to us why we don't need guns and weed at elementary schools.

Middle School Teacher Drunk in Class

Story: Middle School Teacher Drunk in Class

The students couldn't figure out why one minute he was aggressively yelling at them, and then the next he was confessing that he loved them all. They also couldn't put their finger on why he crashed and took a 2 hour nap during school. What tipped them off, was when he started peeing in the corner of the room.

Student hand cuffed over skimpy prom dress

Story: High School student hand cuffed over skimpy prom dress

Regular people get arrested all the time for wearing suggestive clothing don't they? Why don't we start by arresting the half-naked meth addicts that sleep in park bushes downtown in just about every metropolis city in the U.S. Or we can just destroy one girl's memories of her senior prom.

Hundreds of Students Suspended For Dress Code Violations

The only three kids in school that day.

Story: Hundreds of Students Suspended For Dress Code Violations

Hey, let's wait until the end of the year to enforce a new policy. I can see it now, a school of unruly students wearing t-shirts and dyed hair. Who want's to be in this environment? We're not hanging out at the mall...pupils are there to learn. One parent points out, "Why do they sell school t-shirts if they're not allowed to wear them?"

Father stabs student at school

Story: Father stabs student at school

Way to take things into your own hands man! But who really has the patience to let a school district or law enforcement to resolve situations? Just add that to the list of things students have to worry about: crazy knife-yielding parents.

Teacher Arrested for Rape Twice in Three Days

Story: Texas Teacher Arrested for Rape Twice in Three Days

This guy has been a busy little beaver recently. He's also chalked up burglary and assault charges. I wonder who's been grading the students tests while he's been out choking girls in his garage.

Elementary student records found in dumpster

Story: Elementary student records found in dumpster

I guess we now know the mysterious place they keep our records that will "stay with us the rest of our lives." I feel bad for the future employers and college recruiters who have to dig through all that shit just to find out if a kid ever got detention.

Student suspended for answering call from dad in Iraq

Story: Student suspended for answering call from dad in Iraq

I think this is the same school that wouldn't allow students to acknowledge that Mother's Day and Father's Day were important. They followed up his 2-day suspension by reminding him that this is a senseless war and he should be ashamed of his father, regardless of how long it's been since he has seen or heard from him.

Student accusation of beating a hoax

Story: Student accusation of beating a hoax

So it turns out the girl was just full of shit. And a racist to boot. Big ol adda boy to the lone star state. Can't you guys throw this one back -- she's certainly not a keeper.

"Fight Club" Busted at Local High School

Story: "Fight Club" Busted at Local High School

"First rule of Fight Club: You do not YouTube Fight Club
Second rule of Fight Club: You DO NOT YouTube Fight Club"