Boy, 8, hands out hundreds in fake $20 bills

$50 dollar bill! $50 dollar bill!

Story: Boy, 8, hands out pile of $20 bills - all fake

Let's talk about trickle down effect for a minute. The boy steals money from his parents, who already have warrants out and a collection of felonies. The parents are now facing more criminal charges for counterfeit money. When they get the chance, they're gonna whoop the kids ass for taking these fake bills to school. Then they'll lose custody, and most likely be breaking parole in the process. So who is the winner here? The 2nd grade math teachers who will be able to skip the money chapter in their lesson plans.

Freshmen Must Wear School T-Shirts

"Freshmen!"

Story: Kathleen High Freshmen Must Wear School T-Shirts

They are forcing freshmen to wear a shirt that has some catchy acronym to support freshmen pride. Are the people making these decisions new to the education industry? They are also not allowing the students to wash them, as they will only have one shirt to wear the entire year. In addition, they must all have the same haircut, and march in unison down the hallways...until they are picked on by upperclassmen, then they can run.

Employee steals $100K of computers from school

Story: School employee accused of $100K theft

I have heard that one of the biggest pitfalls for introducing technology in the classrooms, was the threat that a school employee will wipe out the computer lab and leave it a ghost town. What's funny is that the missing equipment showed up at a church. Something tells me that Jesus doesn't think to highly of grand theft. Too bad...this guy will not only lose his job, but also spend eternity in damnation suffering for his sins.

Judge rules in favor of gay high school club

Story: Judge rules gay club can meet at Okeechobee high school

Prior to this, the school was acting under the logic that "It's wrong to be gay." They shot themselves in the foot when they later realized that the homosexual lifestyle has been generally accepted in society for quite some time now. The judge also ruled that the principal can no longer refer to the organizers of this club as "queers."

Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

Story: Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

According to reports, he told students not to be gay, and then held assemblies preaching about why it is wrong. His initial punishment? Now he teaches American Government instead. Hopefully during his course lesson plans, he'll come across the history of hate speech, and maybe even some civil cases about human rights.

Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

Story: Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

I didn't even know parents were allowed to spank kids anymore without getting a knock on the door from Child Services! I'm surprised we didn't get a story sooner about kids going home with huge welts on their thighs from ping pong paddles. Seeing as how trained law enforcement has a problem justifying when to use a taser, I would hate to hear some principals excuses for slapping a 9-year old.

Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Story: Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Underage kids are always looking for someone to buy them alcohol. It must be easy for the 50+ teenagers that can just rely on one of their teachers to throw the party for them. Is this how she celebrates and rewards high test scores? Does she also steal cars and buy drugs for them too? Certain laws have been around for a long enough time that you think a responsible adult would have knowledge of them. And our critics wonder why we are so harsh on these teachers.

Student sexually assaulted near bus stop

Story: Student sexually assaulted near bus stop

Another reason to get good grades during the school year: So you don't get sexually attacked on your way to summer school.

Former Teacher Of Year Suspended

Story: Former Teacher Of Year Suspended

Usually the teachers who allow minors to drink at their house do end up being the favorites. But as it turns out, it's against the law to give 17 year olds booze. Sucks for him.

Teacher arrested for identity fraud

Story: First-grade teacher arrested for identity fraud

She has been working about a year with a fake teaching license. We go through all these security measures just to monitor who walks in the front doors every morning, meanwhile printing out a false certificate gets this lady hired in a heartbeat. And Florida wonders how so many sex-offenders slip through the cracks.

Teacher arrested for molesting 4-year-old

Story: Teacher arrested for molesting 4-year-old

Sorry sweetheart. Unfortunately you won't be getting the same kind of moral support as the "Freedom Writers" lady. We are just gonna have to file this one under another Florida teacher who has absolutely no concept of how to behave sexually around children.

Teacher, 60, arrested for sex with teens

Story: Teacher, 60, arrested for sex with teens

Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Gross! That's all I have to say about that.

Parents locked out of graduation

Story: Lockout upsets grads' families

It's ok though, they provided TV screens to watch the ceremony on. What a way to thank parents for all their support over the years...by not allowing them to watch their son/daughter walk the isle on graduation day. The school also has future plans to make sure that relatives are prevented from attending weddings as well. And though the logistics aren't final, they also don't want any of their graduates or their families to witness the birth of their first born children.

Teacher accused of having sex with several teens

Story: Teacher accused of sexual misconduct with several students

It's been a couple months, but Florida teachers are finally back on the radar. If any of her students were wondering why they don't get their test scores back in a timely matter, it's because this teacher has been busy meeting 14-year old boys on MySpace and inviting them over for sex. I hope they understand.

Teacher lets students vote out classmate

Story: Teacher lets Morningside students vote out classmate

So much for a fair education. About the only thing positive from this story, is the math lesson students learned about fractions. If 14 students vote to kick a pupil out of class, and 2 students vote against it, what are the odds that the teacher will soon be out of a job?

Boy, 11, Found With Marijuana Traded iPod for Gun

Story: Boy, 11, Found With Marijuana Traded iPod for Gun

Is this kid opening a Pawn Shop? Sounds like he has a handle on the black market of underground embargo swaps. Me? I remember getting in trouble for trading baseball cards at school.

Girl raped on school bus

Story: Girl raped on school bus

The football players on the bus take rounds and rounds, rounds and rounds, rounds and rounds. How many stories are we going to hear about drivers leaving the bus for no good reason, then all of a sudden something tragic happens. Is child supervision not covered during their training?

Wizardry! Teacher Fired for Magic Tricks in Class

Story: Magic trick costs teacher job

This one is a no-brainer. As you watch what you think is an entertaining teacher, he is actually using sleight of hand to distract you from the fact that his lessons won't appear on any standardized tests. After being accused of "wizardry," the school staff could now put their finger on why so many students came to class sawed in half.

Large Alligator Still On the Loose Near School

Story: Large Alligator Still On the Loose Near Windermere Elementary School

This story came after the school had already captured an African elephant and a Bengal tiger roaming around the property as well.

Sexual predators, drunk bus drivers, 10-foot alligators...maybe we shouldn't worry about the future of education, but the future mental health of students today. With all these added stressors, is it a surprise that kids are bringing bombs and guns into schools?

Middle School Student Arrested For Sex Act

Story: Middle School Student Arrested For Sex Act

He probably learned it from his teachers. Either that or watching Joe Pesci in Casino.