Teacher Accused of Allowing Fight Not Fired

Story: Colorado Teacher Accused of Encouraging Student Attack Likely Won't Get Fired or Face Charges

Parents have got to love the news that teachers can provoke fights and allow children to retaliate by using physical violence. I heard that since this teacher was left off the hook, other faculty are now coming up with clever ways to instigate school fights. It was rumored that some teachers are spray-painting threats on students lockers and slashing their car tires in the parking lot.

Judge rules in favor of gay high school club

Story: Judge rules gay club can meet at Okeechobee high school

Prior to this, the school was acting under the logic that "It's wrong to be gay." They shot themselves in the foot when they later realized that the homosexual lifestyle has been generally accepted in society for quite some time now. The judge also ruled that the principal can no longer refer to the organizers of this club as "queers."

Texas schools will force dress code violators to wear blue jumpsuits

Story: School district will force dress-code violators to wear blue jumpsuits

The plan is to make students wear the jumpsuits all day if they arrive in school out of dress code. To adults, this idea seems to make sense. They think it will humiliate kids by forcing them to shape up and dress appropriately. What these adults didn't factor in, was the students are clever and love the idea of "organized chaos." I PROMISE you, on day one of school, nearly 2/3 of the student body will intentionally arrive out of dress code, forcing the administration to realize they don't have enough jump suits. Those who are "lucky" enough to wear one will think it's cool and it will almost become trendy. This pattern will continue every single day until the policy is changed. I PROMISE you.

Chicago students urged to skip first day of school

Story: Chicago students urged to skip first day, try to enroll elsewhere

To put it simply: they want the black students to skip school to prove a point that the white school gets more funding. Nothing will probably come of this except for better parking spaces the first day of school. However, this story (and the previous) show a growing concern that the general population is unsatisfied with the education system. Hopefully, dumb stunts like this will pop up all over the country until the problems are fixed.

Parent, Teacher, Principal Walk 109 Miles To Speak To Governor

Story: SF Parent, Teacher, Principal Walk 109 Miles To Speak To Governor

109 miles huh? Cell phones not working that day? Car broke down? Newsflash! Most of the country is unhappy about budget cuts in education. It was later rumored that after the long hike, the trio was so dehydrated and exhausted that they forgot why they started walking to begin with.

Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

Story: Judge Scolds Principal for 'Relentless Crusade' Against Gays

According to reports, he told students not to be gay, and then held assemblies preaching about why it is wrong. His initial punishment? Now he teaches American Government instead. Hopefully during his course lesson plans, he'll come across the history of hate speech, and maybe even some civil cases about human rights.

Hurt by gas prices, Calif. schools cut bus service

Story: Hurt by gas prices, Calif. schools cut bus service

In a related story, it is projected that the leading cause of death among teens in California during the next school year will be pedestrians getting hit by vehicles. Well either way, better save up now and get some comfortable shoes.

Boy, 12, Arrested In Elementary School Arson

Story: Boy, 12, Arrested In Elementary School Arson

Hey buddy, I'm thinking there's better ways to get revenge on your teachers. The irony is he most likely lit the school on fire in hopes that he wouldn't have to go back there in the Fall, but now he'll probably end up in some Juvenile Center. But is that worse?

Teacher Accused Of Distributing Child Porn

Story: Veteran Teacher Accused Of Distributing Child Porn

We are gonna keep singing this song until the problem is solved. Can't this guy find a different hobby? Like collecting baseball cards or something. Or even just regular porn. There is absolutely no reason for adults, ESPECIALLY TEACHERS, to be messing around with kiddie porn.

School bans fake tanning

Story: School bans fake tan

From the school, "We ask for your support in ensuring your girls do not come to school looking varying shades of orange." I mean, even though we all might agree that it looks ridiculous, is it really within a schools rights to prohibit girls (and boys perhaps) from looking gross? Kids have done dumb things to their bodies forever, that's part of being a teen. Don't worry, they will look at pictures twenty years from now and be completely embarrassed.

Georgia schools say "Spank Away!"

Story: Spare the Rod or Swing the Paddle: How to Punish Students

Alright! Now we're getting somewhere. Where does this fit into the argument about who should raise children? Parents or teachers? Corporal Punishment is actually encouraged in these Georgia schools. Kids can finally relate to their parents/grandparents stories about being slapped on the hand with a ruler when they come home with cat-o-nine tails lacerations across their backs. But for the record...teacher and principals are allowed to demonstrate acts of violence for disobedience, but students still get arrested for fighting, right?

Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

Story: Polk County schools can no longer spank kids

I didn't even know parents were allowed to spank kids anymore without getting a knock on the door from Child Services! I'm surprised we didn't get a story sooner about kids going home with huge welts on their thighs from ping pong paddles. Seeing as how trained law enforcement has a problem justifying when to use a taser, I would hate to hear some principals excuses for slapping a 9-year old.

Principal charged with raping student at school

Story: Arlington Principal charged with raping student at school

This guy bought her a private cell phone, and prepared a secret room in the school for him and the 14-year old girl to drink rum and have sex. And somehow, DetentionSlip gets a bad rap for reporting these stories. We should all learn a lesson here: If you're ever planning on becoming a principal, try your best not to add one count of third-degree rape to your resume.

Schools eye four-day week to cut fuel costs

Story: Schools eye four-day week to cut fuel costs

We've covered this story before [here], but it seems like eliminating a school day is the latest hot button sweeping the education world. It only lends itself to logic that less schooling will make children smarter. If this trend catches on like wildfire, before you know it this will be the last generation that the parents are less educated than their kids. I say we think pro actively, and just go right to three 10-hour school days per week.

Teen Sues Teacher for Calling Her Ugly

Story: Teen Sues Teacher for Calling Her Ugly

Well, was she ugly? But then the teacher follows this up by 'kicking' her out of the classroom. Don't teens have it hard enough dealing with other classmates? We don't need teachers getting involved in name-calling and bullying. It was also rumored that the teacher beat the girl up for her lunch money.

Teacher sentenced for giving students Vicodin

Story: Oregon teacher sentenced for giving kids painkillers

I am sure every Oregon mom out there can sleep a little safer now that this pill pusher is behind bars. It's a shame when teachers are the drug kingpins of the school. She eventually got caught when kids starting going home with broken fingers because they couldn't make payments on time. Oddly enough though, their grades were never affected, just their image of responsible adults was.

Teacher Arrested Again For Sex With Student

Story: L.I. Teacher Arrested Again For Sex With Student

I guess the stove wasn't hot enough the first time she touched it. I mean, Good God lady! Five counts of statutory rape aren't enough to stop you from going back? Please do yourself a favor- get loaded up on wine one night during dinner and hang around the bars near the local community college. They should have what you're looking for. In the meantime, let this kid at least get his drivers license first, so he can make out with girls his own age behind Best Buy after it closes at night.

School failure harder on girls than boys

Story: School failure harder on girls than boys

I think this was based on a previous study that determined "everything is emotionally harder on girls than boys." The research basically states that when girls fail or get in trouble in school, they are more likely to become depressed. Really!!! That's what ice cream, malls, and Sex and the City are for. I am glad we are wasting money to get to the bottom of this pressing issue in education.

Man's body found behind NY school

"You kids wanna see a dead body?"

Story: Man's body found behind NY Putnam County school

I could think of better things to run over while I'm playing a summer pick-up game of kickball with my neighborhood friends. I hope this guy wasn't an over-worked teacher who stressed so much about the next school year that he starved himself outside the building. Either way, poke it with a stick, see what happens.

Miss. school district bars teacher-student texting

Story: Miss. school district bars teacher-student texting

It's about time. You're telling me they haven't gotten around to forming this policy until now? Are teachers allowed to call students on home phones? Exactly. It's getting harder and harder to get away with steamy teacher-student relationships.

Teacher Accused of Helping Students Cheat

Story: Berkeley Teacher Accused of Helping Students Cheat

If she really wanted test scores to improve, then why didn't she just change the gradebook? If these accusations prove to be true, what a great message she is sending to her 4th graders. Does she also light their cigarettes in the bathrooms?

Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Story: Teacher jailed for throwing keg party

Underage kids are always looking for someone to buy them alcohol. It must be easy for the 50+ teenagers that can just rely on one of their teachers to throw the party for them. Is this how she celebrates and rewards high test scores? Does she also steal cars and buy drugs for them too? Certain laws have been around for a long enough time that you think a responsible adult would have knowledge of them. And our critics wonder why we are so harsh on these teachers.

Texas approves Bible course for high schools

Story: Texas State Board of Education approves Bible course for high schools

The good news? Kids might be able to talk their parents out of Sunday School at church. The bad news? Students are going to get confused on test day when their science teacher explained to them about the theory of evolution earlier in the week. And are we going to allow every religion to have a course in high school as well? The students in this class will also be off-key during the Pledge of Allegiance when they're the only ones saying "One nation, under God." But again, on the bright side, the Ohio teacher who likes to burn crosses on kids arms might be able to get a job here.

Patton Oswalt’s Brilliant, Politically Incorrect, Graduation Speech

Story: Patton Oswalt’s Brilliant, Politically Incorrect, Graduation Speech

What starts off as some hack comedian appealing to kids with cussing and pot jokes, actually turns into a decent message. The C-list actor, and claim to fame of Broad Run High School, attempts to inspire the seniors by reminding them that the future is theirs to take a hold of. Encouraging them to get out and do some different things, and make the best of their experiences. Comparing this to the keynote speaker at my graduation...the entire audience of several thousands zoned out when he opened by introducing us by the wrong year. Just goes to show what a little creativity can do.

Mom arrested for stealing teacher's purse

Story: Mom gets jail time for stealing teacher's purse

The best way to thank teachers for all their hard work and dedication is by robbing their purse and going on a shopping spree with their credit card. But I guess what puzzles me, is why teachers are leaving their purses exposed during big ceremonies. I always thought they kept them in the bottom drawer of their desk.

Mom sues school district over bat-infested halls

Story: Mom sues school district over bat-infested halls

We have our research team on this right now because we're not sure if this story is a hoax as an incredible marketing piece for the new Batman movie. If it turns out to be true, then we can only imagine why a school would let hundreds of rabies-ridden bats nest in their hallways. The fact that they made announcements and offered vaccinations for students playing with dead ones, leads me to believe they were well aware of this problem.

Drug dogs will prowl school parking lots

Story: Drug dogs will prowl Osseo school parking lots

Just another reminder that our rights will always be in jeopardy and there is no sense of trust among students and administration. While I am sure that they are targeting specific cases (even though that claim has been denied), the real punch line will occur when teachers start getting caught just as much as students...which will only reflect poorly on the school for hiring these liabilities. Good luck guys! and dogs!

1 in 4 California high school students drop out

Story: 1 in 4 California high school students dropped out in 2006-2007

This statistic needs to be below 10%. Other countries around the world are laughing at what a disgrace our education system has become. The problem is not just in California, but apparently the percentage of children who feel that not being in school is their best option is increasing at an out of control rate. So I guess the question remains, what are we doing to keep them in our schools?

Teacher accused of exposing himself suspended

Story: Teacher accused of exposing himself suspended

I suppose it's good that the school board doesn't want a guy who exposes himself to girls at local community pools working for them anymore. It still begs the question about why this trend of teacher behaving badly is sweeping the nation. I encourage all GOOD and MORAL teachers to leave a comment today about the HEALTHY relationships they are in, just to clarify that we still have some left.

Four Teens Caught Drinking Beer On School Roof